Fulfilling a request for our first Caption Contest winner, MadSwapper :)
Also, MadSwapper, I purposely changed a few details as it was easier to write this way. No offense intended to you, it was easier to keep the flow going in my head than to keep going back and forth between the cap and the email to see what I was getting right and wrong.
In any case, stay debaucherous, darlings! ;)
~A.D.
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